Troubles

"Well, I really do hate you," I said sternly.

Monica stared at me, not sure of what to say.  Call me blunt, but I just did not give a damn anymore!

"What you did was inexcusable," I continued to say.  "I can't even look at you."  I turned my back towards her and shuffled papers that were on the entry table in the small hallway.

I could rip her to pieces right now, I thought.  My blood was boiling, my cheeks were getting flushed.  "I never thought in a million years that you would do that to me."  I turned around quickly to face Monica again.

Monica decided to sit in the love seat.  "I don't want this to jeopardize our friendship. I'm sorry."

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you did it.  As far as I know, this friendship is through.  Ten years down the drain because of you."

I watched closely to see if I would get any kind of emotion from her - but there wasn't any.  She wasn't sorry.  They never are, I thought.

"I will make it up to you, Sarah.  I promise."  She couldn't even look me in the eye.

"I won't hold my breath on that one.  Don't make promises you can't keep.  You need to get help."

Monica stood silent.

"I can't trust you anymore.  This problem is getting out of control.  I have a bank account statement to prove it."

And then, from the corner of her eye, a tear fell down her cheek.  "I don't know how the gambling got out of hand,” she admitted quietly.  “I thought it was under control.  I never meant to steal $5,000 from you."  She made eye contact with me.  "You're the only one who has ever been there for me.  I need you.  I can't do this alone."

She looked at me for a response.  But I didn’t give her one.

Monica waited.  I honestly did not know what to say or do. 

I felt horrible.

*Writing Prompt: In under 500 words, start your story with “Well, I really do hate you”.

Positive Direction

I’m aware you might feel overwhelmed at times with tasks, but I want you to know it’s completely normal.  You’re beginning a new life; everything you are trying to accomplish is foreign to you.  You’ll get the hang of it; it’ll become second nature to you with time, patience, and practice.

Just remember to ask for help if you need it.  Don’t hold back.  There’s nothing wrong with needing assistance.  We all have difficult moments where we are unable to complete something on our own.   Please don’t feel as if you are interrupting anyone because you are not.

Your hard work and determination has shown so far and you should be extremely proud of yourself.  It’s a big step forward in a positive direction and we’re all here supporting you.  Never forget that.

Never Rely on Anyone

I have goals in life.  I am very aware of what I would like to see in my future.

How is it possible to get everything I want?  I need to work my tail off!  That’s the only way to get something accomplished.  It’s a lot of hard work, positivity, determination, and independence.

A lot of people want the easy way out.  People want things handed to them.

Not me.  I’m not that type of person and I never was.  If you want something, you work for it.  I have my moments where I’m physically and mentally exhausted and sometimes I break down.  It’s being human.  But, it doesn’t last long because I know I’m not the only one struggling; not the only one with a lot of weight on their shoulders.

It’s called life.  Incidents happen.  I learned a long time ago not to dwell on things like that because it doesn’t do any good.  Things end up working themselves out.  It always has.  Positivity makes all the difference.

If you don’t like something in your life; change it.  If you want something; go grab it!  Only you can get yourself to a better place.  You’re an adult; no one is going to take you by the hand.  Independence is important.  Never rely on anyone.

Disappointment

In a way, it’s not my place to say anything to you, but nothing is stopping me from writing this all down.

It’s a disappointment when you say you will call and that phone does not ring.

It’s a disappointment when you do not call on the holidays; a thought that does not cross your mind.

It’s an annoyance when you disappear for months at a time.  When you resurface; you act as if nothing ever happened.

It’s frightening to not know of your whereabouts; to not know if you are okay.

There’s a better life waiting for you.  You just have to want it.

Isn’t your head filled with curiosity of what could be?  Curiosity of what relationships you could begin to form?

How many more years of disappointment will there be?

I don’t know how much more one can take until they call it quits.

I have one question for you to ask yourself: is the life you have worth keeping if you lose all your loved ones?