Let it Be

I’ve been known to sometimes avoid situations when I’m not in the mood to go down that path.

I admit that.

I don’t like confrontation.

By doing this, it doesn’t help the circumstances at hand, but if others around me can do it, why can’t I?

Is that my way of throwing in the towel?

I’m finally realizing that no matter what I say, when I say it, or how I say it, I’m not being heard.

How do I know that?

There’s a lot of repetition and no change.

If this is how it’s going to be, so be it.

Let it be.

Impossible

We can’t please everyone.  We just can’t – it’s impossible.

We shouldn’t care what others think, but we’re human.  We try to act cool, pretending it doesn’t bother us, but the truth is it replays in the back of our minds.  Our brain won’t turn off the noise.

What do you do when you feel like you’ve been defeated?

Writing used to be enough for you, but there isn’t satisfaction in that anymore.  You’ve come to a point where you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel because deep down you don’t see how there could be one any longer.

Long ago there was one.  And now, it’s vanished completely.  You can’t help but feel lost because of it.

Confidant

You’ll never forget the people who were there for you when you hit a few rough patches.  They hold a special place in your heart and you’ll cherish and remember the advice they gave you and the kind words that were said.

I’ve been through a whole lot and I’m still standing.  It amazes me how much I’ve grown as a person, how much my goals have changed, and how well I have been able to express myself to others.  The girl I was years ago is now a mature adult who perceives things differently now.  It’s part of life for everyone, really.

But, even so, once in a while I feel the need to vent.  I talk to the ones I’m closest with and I will always turn to them; however, there’s always that one person on the outside that I want to confide in.  She means the world to me and I’m grateful she stepped into my life when she did.  I honestly do not know if I would be the person I am today without her.

Just Do It

I need to make it to a library in the next few weeks to get some writing and editing done.  I want to make it a habit because it’s not happening at home and I’m frustrated with the whole process.  Being at the library when I attended school helped me tremendously in getting my assignments completed.

Each time I neglect this story, it’s only hurting me, myself, and I.  Being published has been my number one goal since I was about 12 years old.  I’m going to be 28…this is upsetting.

I keep telling myself this, but I know I have to manage my time better.  Even if I take two hours every day to write, that will be an accomplishment.

I have to stop thinking about it and go for it.  My goal is to call libraries around my area to get their hours and form a schedule between writing and exercising.  I need to be able to fit in both.

It’s a new month. Let’s do this.